Author: Volunteers

A wealthy man, who owned a small estate, sent out a notice to any unmarried women containing the description of what would make this man’s perfect wife.

” Notice to UNMARRIED Women.

A man in Edinburghshire, who never was married, being near thirty years of age, has above 900l. with a small estate. In sincerity he wants a women to be his spouse that is truly pious, and has a taste for cleanliness. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a women that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.-Prov.xxxi.50.                                                                           Any young women whom this may suit, will please address to A.B. to be left at the Printing-office, and the Advertiser will wait on her.                                        O virtuous female, think no shame,                                                                  To take the pen and write your name;                                                              I shall the subject secret handle,                                                                      And keep you free from any scandal.”

Stamford Mercury, 13th January, 1809.

A severe ‘serjeant’ at Volunteer Corps shouted at a recruit after he grumbled during a drill and began to speak when he shouldn’t have.

” A serjeant drilling a Volunteer Corps a few days ago, was peculiarly severe on a gentleman, whom he did not fail to tax as amazingly stupid and aukward. The recruit grumbled, and was beginning to reply, when Kile stopped him by exclaiming, Hold your tongue, Sir; a soldier is only allowed to open his mouth twice in the ranks; once when his name is called, and again to bite off the end of his cartridge.”

Stamford Mercury, 16th September 1803

Man-mountain, Daniel Lambert had been been drafted to serve in the Leicestershire militia – how many men will he be worth?

” The celebrated Mr. Daniel Lambert has been balloted to serve in the militia for the county of Leicester! It is supposed this man-mountain will serve by substitute; but how many men in buckram should in fairness grow out of this one, who is in himself a host, is a matter that the Deputy-Lieutenants have not yet determined upon.”

Stamford Mercury, 6th November 1807.

During their time at Chatham, French prisoners used to gamble food and clothes away to their fellow comrades. Some had “naked luck” and some even starved.

” There is such an irresistible spirit of gambling existing among the French prisoners lately arrived at Chatham from Norman Cross, that many of them have been almost entirely naked during the late severe weather, having lost their clothes, not excepting even their shirts and small clothes,  to some of their fellow prisoners; many of them are also reduced to the chance of starving by the same means, having lost seven or eight days’ provision to their fortunate comrades, who never fail to exact their winnings. The effervescence of mind that this diabolical pursuit gives rise to, is often exemplified in the conduct of these infatuated captives, rendering them remarkably turbulent and unruly. On Saturday a quarrel arose between two of them in course of play, when one of them, who lost his clothes and food, received a severe stab in the back with a large knife from his companion, whose anger had been kindled by the invectives which a run of ill luck had excited in his adversary. Every care was taken of the wounded man by surgeons.”

Stamford Mercury, 18th December 1807.

An overly-confident man crashed his horse drawn cart into a mud-cart, after attempting to show his skill with a whip. The end results were fast and filthy.

” Thursday a gentleman, desirous of exhibiting his skill in the science of the whip, ascended the box of his own landaulet, drawn by a pair of capital horses, and driving furiously down Fleet-street, came in contact with a mud-cart, which was stationary, and nearly full. The concussion was so great as to precipitate him completely into the filth collected therein, from which he emerged sufficiently soused, by the assistance of the scavengers, to the no small diversion of the surrounding throng.”

Stamford Mercury 6th November, 1807.

To lighten the air after reports of heavy parliamentary debates, this charming verse about marriage in Heaven appears at the end of the news from London.

“Cries Celia to a Reverend Dean,

What Reason can be given,

Since Marriage is a Holy Thing,

That there is none in Heaven.

 

There are no Women, he reply’d:

She quick returns the Jest;

Women there are, but I’m afraid,

They cannot find a Priest.”

 

Stamford Mercury 17th March, 1737.

The Frock Discarded

Society ladies cast off their dresses and start a new fashion trend. Sporting new outfits for events, they catch the eye of the local media.

“LADY CATHERINE WILLOUGHBY is now numbered among the members of the very smart young set in Mayfair who have adopted coloured shorts for tennis and at Lady Crossfield’s big garden party disported herself in a pair of pink pale crepe with a black belt.

Her equally energetic sister, Lady Priscilla, never misses an opportunity to play polo, and, and in spite of the great heat, was thoroughly enjoying herself at Hurlingham.

Lady Priscilla, by the way, like her sister-in-law, has been taking on quite a lot of public social work- opening fetes, bazaars, etc.-in Stamford district lately, but, if I remember aright, we have still to have the pleasure of seeing Lady Catherine in like role in the area.”

Stamford Mercury 27th July, 1934.

A never seen before Wax Exhibition, described as Most Splendid and Striking, has been advertised to be open by the creator Mrs. Silvester to the public.

“NEVER SEEN HERE BEFORE

On MONDAY NEXT will be OPENED,

The most splendid and striking EXHIBITION of

ILLUSTRIOUS PERSONAGES

IN WAX, EVER SEEN.

MRS. SILVESTER, from No. 341,

Strand, London, respectfully informs the Ladies, Gentleman, and  Public at large, that her celebrated CABINET of WAX-WORK is just arrived in this Town, and may be seen in commodious Rooms in the BULL-YARD.

The principal Characters are,the Royal Family of England- the unfortunate Royal Family of France-Dutch, Russian, Prussian, and Turkish Personages- the unfortunate Baron Trenk, loaded with 68lbs of Chains-John Wesley- Dr. Franklin- General Washington-General Bonaparte and Madame Bonaparte-with many other Figures, fifty in Number, and in full Size of Life.

Open from ten in the Morning until nine in the Evening.

Admittance is-Trades-people 6d-Servants 3d.

** The Particulars in the Hand-bills.”

Stamford Mercury 26th March 1802.

A poultry pie of huge proportions was served at a Christmas dinner hosted by the Earl Grosvenor which weighed a staggering 154lbs!

“At Earl Grosvenor’s second dinner at Chester, as Mayor of that city, on Friday the 1st instant, there was a large christmas pie, which contained three geese, three turkies, seven hares, twelve partridges, a ham, and a leg of veal: the whole, when baked, weighed 154 lbs.!”

Stamford Mercury 15th January, 1807.

 

In a battle against France an undiscovered German female soldier fought and picked up wounds forcing her true identity to be discovered.

“An interesting female presented on Wednesday for relief to the German Committee, at Baker’s Coffeehouse, in consequence of wounds she received in late battles fought in the cause of Europe against France. She gave undoubted proofs of her having fought in the ranks in the hard-contested actions in the vicinity of Leipsic, where she received several wounds. She was taken to the hospital at Leipsic, where her sex was discovered. This amazonian warrior is a German of about 25 years of age; she served five years in the army.”

Stamford Mercury 11th November, 1814.