True British Oyl is a marvellous product. It cures everything from bruises to leprosy, from withered limbs to consumption, from coughs to rabies and, as an added bonus, maggots and mange in sheep. If you need a cure for ‘deafness to admiration’ (don’t we all ?) then this medication was made just for you.
‘By His Majesty’s Royal Letters Patent,
Is now Sold at the Printing Office in Stamford, and by the Men that carry this Mercury, the only True British Oyl, at One Shilling a Bottle.
WHICH is an effectual Remedy for many Disorders incident to human Bodies. It is an absolute Cure for all scorbutick and rheumatick Diseases, for all old Contusions and Contractions of the Nerves, or contracted and withered Limbs, Strains, Ulcers, old Sores, all fixed and wandering Pains : It discusses Nodes ; cures the Palsy ; Lameness, Swellings, Inflammations, St. Anthony’s Fire, King’s Evil ; takes away all Blackness of a Fall or Bruise in an Hour’s Time, and allays all Swellings that usually attend such Accidents : It cures all green Wounds and Cuts, if (speedily applied) by the first Intention : Is an almost infallible Remedy for the Rickets in Children ; is a certain Cure for the Leprosy of ever so long standing : very much helps to knit broken Bones, and is an excellent Antidote against Poison. Inwardly taken, it cures Ulcers of the Lungs, Shortness of Breath, Consumptions, Phthisick, Coughs, and almost all Disorders of the Breast or Lungs, it also cures Deafness to Admiration ; it cures all surfeits in Cows or Horses ; also Hardness or Stoppage in the Maw, the Maggots or Manage [sic] in Sheep, &c.
N. B. It will expel Poison, heal the Bite of a mad Dog, and is an absolute Cure for the most obstinate Itch that has baffled the Force of all other Medicines.
There is likewise the superfine Royal Oleum Britannicum, or the treble refined British Oil, which is an absolute Cure in all the Disorders above-mentioned, being extracted and refined in such a manner, as renders it four Times as efficacious as the common Sort, and (very suitable for such as cannot take that as it is) as fine as Amber, of a very pleasant Smell and grateful Taste. Price Three Shillings a Bottle.’
Stamford Mercury, 12 January, 1744.